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Monday, January 28, 2008
Abit emo today/ 9:31 PM It's always nice to take a step back to enjoy life's moments. I know I've said that many times but somehow, I never get sick of it. Life's pace doesn't seem to slow down a bit. When I get messed up in my own life, chasing after whatevers,whoevers, you know that you've got your loved ones behind you, supporting you however you choose your life. That's the trust they have in you. That's what I call unconditional love. Family Love. I was never close to my brother when I was young, no thanks to the 10 year age gap we had between us. I always had the view that, he wasn't ready to have a younger brother, after all the attention that's been showered on him and one fine day 10 years later, the attention's suddenly gone. He must have hated me (as told by my ah ma =X), I hated him for his guts and him being my 'role model' in life. I've never forgotten what my dad always used to say when I was young & complaining to him about my brother and how I wished he's not my bro. "Son, you've got only 1 brother. Both of you should learn to love one another cos when at the end of the day, you'll realise that your brother is the one you can rely on." As both of us grew up, somehow we managed to accept one another's existence. I'm getting to appreciate the things that he's done for me. I can't do much, just being a respectful brother who doesn't get his own bro into trouble; being a proud uncle to my bro's son and helping out in my little own ways. Disagreements will still occur but at the end of the day, it's putting it behind us and getting over it. Talking to my bro has helped me in many ways cos he speaks from experience. So I've realised, grown up talks can be interesting and meaningful in its own ways. For the first time in many many years, I had dinner at the dining table instead of the usual habit of eating in my room while watching tv. Even my Ah Ma was surprised. She'll always sit at the living room, waiting for me to be back. Upon my return, she'll then heat up the food and then, have her dinner. She jokingly claims that she doesn't have appetite until I come back. She'll painstakingly whip up more dishes cos she knows her cooking will be appreciated. Just look at my tummy...a living proof of my love for her and her food! =P At times I also feel guilty of taking her for granted. You know, uni life is so busy and even though it's like 1 month into Sem 2, I'm beginning to feel the heat. She knows I'm busy so she tries to avoid talking to me but shows her silent support by making milo for me early in the morning just before I wake up and concocting some health tonic drinks as energy and immune system power up! I've not mentioned to many people but part of the reason for choosing to leave hall was to spend more time with my family. I've been busy in my own world and I can't possibly turn my back on them and spending my weekend with them or updating them over the phone. That's not who I am. I won't want to do that if I had a choice. Unless it's going overseas for exchange or work, then it's another case altogether. Once in a while, when I'm caught up with the demands of uni life, I know I can find peace just being with my friends and family. I'm not taking them for granted. Just have to treasure them while they're still around cos I'm a person I am today because their never ending moulding and support since day one. Cherish. Appreciate. Love. |
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