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Saturday, October 24, 2009
a series of negativities/ 12:24 PM My world is spiralling into a wave of emotional negativism. Facing with really really awful deadlines where cock ups still occur at submission time. I'm so consumed with the projects and the cockup that happened last Wednesday simply just piled up on the it. The inadequacy of sleep for consecutive days. Missing out on meaningful social interaction and hiding into my shell. And not being able to engage in proper stress-leasing activities like soccer and squash. Good thing is I know many friends out there who are facing the same or worse shit than me. No, I'm not saying I'm happy that they're worse off. (hmmz, maybe i am...haha...kidding) The idea of 'shared misery' somehow lightens things up. I know they've got my back and I just them to know that I've got theirs too. And yes, I don't say it often but thank goodness I've got buddies like Jinhui as my project grpmate since year 2. We are brothers-in-agony! Song bo! In the darkest hours when you think the world is perhaps better off if you just suddenly collapse and die and to make it worse, no one cares...that's when Life comes in to give us a tiny push, just enough to spur us on. I was surprisingly delighted with the some random events like having carpark lots and getting free car wash from the rain. I know my guardian angels up there are looking out for me (and that's why I fear accumulating too much bad karma too. lol~). Just a few weeks back I contemplated ending this blog after writing for more than 10 years. I told myself "it was time to move on and for goodness sake, find a proper human being to if I want to vent and rant" The blog has been a good way of getting updates of friends, especially those whom you hardly have time to meet. It's friends like xinhe who just popped by over msn to find out after reading, and then offering some words of encouragement. And this can be a tell-tale sign me suffering from potential burnout especially I start blogging frequently or writing long entries like this. It's my little way of escapism and it works pretty fine. There are no problems too big out there, I'll be here as long as you are willing to share. Tough times don't last...Everyone, hang in there. |
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