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Tuesday, January 03, 2006
A new chapter begins/ 9:00 PM Hi 2006, bye 2005. Time check: 9.03pm. It's pouring out there right now. Pedestrians and vehicles alike slow down their speed, moving cautiously ahead. Life in Singapore is fast-paced cos we are constantly reminded that " it's a competitive world out there", hence we are always struggling to stay ahead. How much time do each of us dedicate in taking a slower pace, enjoy the moments life presents and do some self reflection every now and then? After today's driving practices, I headed down to beach road army market to help Kelvin with some pre-enlisting shopping. What caught my attention were some ah-peks and ah-mas selling big sweep tickets, tissue paper, passport covers etc over at lavender area. I mean, there's a Chinese belief that the elderly should enjoy their fruits of labour and take a breather in their retirement years. Yet, many a times we see more old people out there struggling to make ends meet. Mind you, I respect them for their sheer grit and determination. There're reports about old people who reject assistance and insist on being independent. However, I seriously feel that there's a need to address certain issues that bug our society for quite some time. Organisations offering aid aren't as efficient as we hoped it would be, scandals like the recent NKF issue will haunt us for a long time before our confidence to donate generously resumes. It will be for a good cause, won't it? But, how much? how efficiently? Ok, that aside, I'm pretty grateful that National Service has provided me with quite a bit of free time, even though not as much freedom as I used to have. I simply didn't cherish what I used to have in the past and this has caused much regret deep within me. At times, mistakes of the past come back to haunt me and I feel rather useless and miserable. Life's not fair, period. I'll learn to cope all the things I feel strongly about, social injustices or not, I'll just try to accept them all. If I were to comment about my current life, I'd say it's pretty much in a mess. Being broke at the moment sucks. I've pumped in quite a bit of money into driving but that's not the main reason for my shrunk bank account. If I've not wasted so much money in the past on lan gaming, impulsive shopping, gambling etc, I'd be so much better off now. At least my account balance would look nicer with more digits. If possible, I wouldn't ask my dad for money. I think the business is still recovering since hitting the slumps a few years back. Haizzz Thinking about it now, I feel glad that my gambling problem, or crudely speaking -addiction, has settled down pretty much. My dad's constant reminder of the harms of gambling has finally kicked in, after being taught some lessons at the mahjong table and sg pools. I've wasted almost 1 year before resuming my driving lessons which I guess is a surprise to my family and friends. Well, having pretty much time on my side is the catalyst. The reason that sparked off my motivation was a quote by 1 of my rv-ncc-sa friend, James Moo in which he said "I know what I want in life". These words seem simple but I was struck by it. Ever since then, I've been consistently done self-reflections and I've derived with certain hopes and aspirations for the future. I promise myself that I'll dedicate more time for my family and I'll do more reflections to think of how to improve myself. This beats living a life aimlessly, having fun but being no more than a mere empty shell. I guess that's pretty much for now. Pardon me for my rantings and disorganised thoughts. Time check again: 9.53p.m. |
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